It must be hard
to not have a friend:
no one to exchange your
smiles,
kind words
in this crowded classroom
with last period's gossip
on everyone's lips.
They sit
in the forgotten corner
in the forgotten last rows
in the forgotten seats.
They are
the shadows
we pretend aren't there.
We all do it.
The teacher does too.
We quickly grab our partners
hoping to avoid them.
"I have to work with him?!"
"Why do kids dress like this today?"
What makes an outcast?
That is the part
no one wants to
talk about,
but
I do.
Ignorance:
Something that must
be overcome.
"Hello, how has your day been?"
"Are you working with anyone?"
Talk.
Listen to the shadows.
Shine your light and
you may realize
they aren't shadows at all,
but people
just like
You.
4 comments:
I found your blog! haha not the other party one ;)
"last period's gossip on everyone's lips"
ouchhh so good.
I LOVE these lines!
i can sometimes identify with them
you rule amanda.
they sit in the forgotten corner... etc etc
They are the shadows we pretend arent there
Hey, lady! Okay, so everything is squared away now. Whew! Sorry about that incorrect link. Let me know if there are any other problems. See you 7th!
Wow I love this! Great topic.
I would have a new stanza after "Last period's gossip on everyone's lips."
(Great line btw.)
Then if you do make the next lines a new stanza, I would suggest you clarify "They" because when I was reading it, I interperted the begining that you were talking from an "I" point of view, not talking about other people. And then when you said "They" I thought you were talking about the people in the class that are gossiping and have friends. Like I thought you were on the inside looking out, instead of on the outside looking in. Am I making sense? Well, if I am not I will just tell you in person, it is easier that way haha.
I would also play with the line breaks at the end. I love the last line, reminding everyone of other people's existence that is common to their own.
So good. I heart the Panda Bear!
I like the message of ur poem. I enjoy how u infasise the word forgotten and how u posed the question "what makes an out cast?" i was thinking maybe u could go back through it add a little more detail. like perhaps what the do or feel in their forgotten seats. again i love ur poem good job
Post a Comment